Blackened Love
by NightTeen
Summary: Sirius Black runs away from home. POV of Regulus and Sirius, may add other important Black family things or do other points of view.
1. Sirius

_This is just a little one shot I might add to off the night Sirius ran away. Features Sirius and Regulus in the next chapter cause it was too big for one, sorta. _

If I'm free, it's because I'm always running

-Jimi Hendrix

_Disclaimer: I do not own any J. K characters even though I've made plenty of offers_

_Sirius_

It began like it always did, Mother made some ignorant comment about muggleborns and the Potters. But

this time was different, it was like all the fights I have ever had with her were building up to this one. It was

more intense than normal, full of bitter hatred with every word, both of us got too frustrated, too angry. She

shouted at me to get out, to never blacken her doorstep again. I said I would be happy too. I went quickly,

stuffing my trunk to maximum capacity, as I was about to leave my room I heard a thump coming from

Regulus' room. I entertained the thought of taking him with me. And then I remembered the last time we

spoke, at school. Words had been flung like weapons, filled with rage, disappointment longing and hurt and

the desperate need to make the other understand. I remembered his last parting comment filled with

nothing but hate. I knew he would never leave this family. Family was everything to him, which is why he

still bothered with me. Once upon a time we were as close as twins were. But the feelings of bitter betrayal,

Mother pitting us against each other and inability to understand our different views, the things our parents

had forced on us since children or the things I discovered on the other side that Regulus never understood

and probably never would succeeded in pulling us apart, we had never been the same. I fought with

Regulus as much as my Mother, but not were anyone could hear or see. 'No' I thought savagely, if Regulus

wanted out of the world our parents had built up he could have it, and if he wanted out he would do it

himself. I then proceeded to run out of the house, past my livid mother, stoic Father, unable to look at

Regulus as he looked out from his room. I ignored the nagging thoughts, _he's never been as strong as you, _

_it will just get worse for him if you leave him, he won't be able to break away from family as easily as you do _

_he has always been the favorite almost dotted on child, _and the last thought that wouldn't go away…_your _

_abandoning him, your condemning him, save him, save him, save him your supposed to look out for him. _I

swept those thoughts to the back of my mind, as I couldn't get rid of them. I took the Night Bus to the

Potter's home, remembering how James had always offered a place for me. It would only be temporary

though. I arrived on his doorstep, grinning, acting like I hadn't just abandoned my family, like I wasn't

hurting. He greeted me quietly, sensing my need to grieve and left me in the guest bedroom till morning.

Left me with head full of self-hatred till in the morning I got up, pretended to be fine and pushed anything

involving my family to the back of my mind. If I couldn't have my own blood family I would have the Potter's

and the marauders who were close like I've always dreamed my family to be.


	2. Regulus

_Disclaimer: I do not own any J. K characters even though I've made plenty of offers_

You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far."

James Baskett 

"He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy."

Socrates

_Regulus_

It began like it always did, but this time it was different. I could literally feel the bitter hate and frustration. I

was lying in my bed, having retreated their earlier as a safe haven, my room usually was for me. The only

place in the house where there was no one else but me. I tried to block out the yells that were steadily

increasing in volume, sometimes I wondered how the muggles who lived next to us didn't hear as their yells

always seemed too loud, too demanding to be contained by mere magic. When the yelling got this loud, so

impossible to ignore is when all the bitter feelings and thoughts I tried to store away got released, when I

felt if I couldn't let my emotions out I would explode. And the terrible thoughts I never dared say aloud came

to mind. _What if Sirius is right, I never interacted with mud- muggleborns so how would I know whether they _

_were really as hopeless, weak and stupid as Mother was always saying. What if I broke of ties with my _

_family like Sirius was always saying I should, like him. What if we ran away together, found somewhere _

_reestablish that twin like relationship we used to have, we could be happy. What if I renounced the dark _

_Lord and the future as a Death Eater I knew my parents were planning for me, that was supposed to be for _

_Sirius? But then, my family would be seen as blood traitors, it would ruin the image of the Blacks, put them _

_all in danger if I ever acted how I wanted too. There was no escape from this life know, I couldn't endanger _

_my family. Sirius didn't realize what deserting could mean for the family with this war upon us if both of us, _

_instead of one deserted and he would be safe, protected by Dumbledore and the Potters and I would be _

_safe in the Black family, under the Dark Lord…_ A door slamming jolted me out of my thoughts, I heard

Sirius shout about leaving, my heart caught in my throat, now was my chance, my choice, flee with Sirius

and risk it all or stay and act like a good boy for the family. I could hear him throwing his stuff in his trunk in

a flurry of movement. I frustratingly threw a shoe at the wall. I heard him go to his door. I almost got up to

meet him, and then I thought of my family as a whole, what it would do. So I stayed on my bed waiting for

him to leave like a good pureblood boy. Even so I waited with baited breath as he passed my door hoping

at least for a good bye. But it never came, my heart clenched in hurt and disappointment, I heard him

pause of course but then he just kept going being reckless, disregarding family as usual. I got up opened

my door and watched him leave, all the while thoughts of why wasn't I a good enough brother, didn't I at

least deserve a farewell, and didn't our younger days as close as twins count for anything? Didn't I count

for anything in his eyes? Suddenly I wanted to scream and shout of the unfairness of it all, that I don't want

to do this anymore I want my life and family whole and happy again, but years of controlling my emotions

kicked in. I vaguely heard Mother shriek in rage and storm to the family tree to blast of his name, I watched

my father stand there looking at the door looking for once as if he cared and as if he didn't know what to do.

All the while thoughts of abandonment and hate ran through my head and thinking _there he goes again, I _

_guess family never meant as much to him as it did to me. Well, I won't do that, I'll protect my family like he _

_doesn't, I'll join up and protect everyone. I'll do for them what Sirius never bothered to do for me. _And later I

thought back to my Sorting, the hat said I could take the easy route, join Sirius in Gryffindor, I certainly had

enough bravery and be happy or I could join Slytherin take the harder route make sacrifices that no one

would ever know or truly understand about. And I also thought to when the hat said I was as noble and

brave as my brother when he listened to my decision even more so as I wasn't going to run away, I was

going to stick up and fight, for my family.


End file.
